As part of last week’s fabulous free stuff giveaway, we gave out 37,000 free “Purple Mystery Boxes”. My theory is: people like free stuff and people like mystery boxes. The mystery box then changed colors a bunch of times. Then it got some weird pictures on it of a dog, an umbrella, a cake, and a keyhole. Was it a mystery? Or was it a warning?!

Someone in the forums pointed out that the first letters of all these things spelled “DUCK”, but this person was largely ignored. Thus the Robloxian populace was unprepared for the coming of EPIC DUCK!

EPIC DUCK is just like you and me, only five stories tall. Here he is providing me with good cover in miked’s Ultimate Paintball.

EPIC DUCK is too epic to appear in ROBLOX all the time. So inside of the mystery box, we present to you a smaller-sized alternative rubber ducky. Sure, he’s not as mind-blowingly cool as EPIC DUCK, but he also won’t crush you into a thousand pieces if you try to wear him on your head.

Some people say that EPIC DUCK will return to Roblox one day. But those people are quacks. It will probably never happen.

…

Right?

– Telamon